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Lotta Alternatives to Another Damn Poirot Movie on the Big Screen This Week

Pretty much every movie you can catch in Twin Cities theaters this week.

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Shots from ‘The Last Wave’ and ‘Fremont’

I was barely aboard the Kenneth Branagh Poirot train before Death on the Nile, but I disembarked immediately after that film's eight-minute intro about the origins of his mustache. (I am not joking.) He's not Batman! I don't need Poirot lore! Fortunately there's plenty to see besides A Haunting in Venice this week. In addition to what I've noted below, can I recommend Fremont, which, yes, is about an Afghan refugee who writes fortunes for fortune cookies, but dodges any fatal flirtations with Sundancey quirk that the trailer might have made you fear.

Thursday, September 14

After Everything (2023)
AMC Roseville 14/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
"The fifth and final installment of the worldwide phenomena," he read in the press materials, suddenly feeling totally lost and out of touch. $16.20. 7 p.m. More info here.

Casino (1995)
Grandview 1&2
This movie title always makes me think of Raekwon saying "Schemin' like De Niro in Casino." $12. 9:15 p.m. Saturday 11:59 p.m. More info here.

Vostok, Farethewell (2011) + The Great Refractor (2022)
The Main
Two movies by filmmaker Andy Gradon, presented as part of the MN Made series. Free (suggested $5 donation). 7 p.m. More info here.

The Breakfast Club (1985)
The Parkway
These kids are all so different! No way they could learn anything from each other! $9/$12. Music from DJ Jake Rudh at 7 p.m. Movie at 8 p.m. More info here.

Friday, September 15

How to Blow up a Pipeline (2023)
Lagoon Cinema
Disclaimer: You will not actually learn how to blow up a pipeline. All week. $5. More info and showtimes here.

The Last Rider (2023)
Lagoon Cinema
Re-live cyclist Greg LeMond's comeback. All week. $5. More info and showtimes here.

The Cars That Ate Paris (1974)
Trylon
An Australian town salvages the wrecks of tourists' cars to survive in this early Peter Weir film. Nom nom nom! $8. Friday 7 p.m. Saturday 9:15 p.m. Sunday 3 p.m. More info here.

The Last Wave (1977)
Trylon
An Australian lawyer suffers from disturbing visions when he defends Indigenous clients in a murder case. $8. Friday 9 p.m. Saturday 7 p.m. Sunday 5 p.m. More info here.

Cue the Strings—A Film About Low (2023)
Walker Art Center
Drawn from director Philip Harder's archival footage of the great Duluth band. Also Saturday. $12/$15. 7 p.m. More info here.

Saturday, September 16

The Dark Knight (2008)
Alamo Drafthouse/Emagine Willow Creek
The one with the Joker and Two-Face. Alamo: $10. 6:30 p.m. More info here. Emagine: $5. 7 p.m. More info here.

Batman Begins (2005)
Emagine Willow Creek
The one with Scarecrow and Ra's al Ghul. $5. 4 p.m. More info here.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Emagine Willow Creek
The one with Bane and Catwoman. $5. 10:15 p.m. More info here.

Sunday, September 17

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Alamo Drafthouse
If I remember right, this is the one with the Deathly Hallows. The first one. $10. 6:30 p.m. More info here.

Rainman (1988)
AMC Rosedale/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
Bet this hasn't aged well. Also Wednesday. $16.20. 4 & 7 p.m. More info here.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Extended Version (2001)
Emagine Willow Creek
How much extra footage added and still no Tom Bombadil? Also Wednesday. $10.75. 1:50 & 6:40 p.m. More info here.

Night Games (1966)
Trylon
John Waters's all-time favorite film. $8. 7:15 p.m. Monday-Tuesday 7 & 9 p.m. More info here.

Monday, September 18

Lolita (1962)
Alamo Drafthouse
Kubrick transforms Nabokov's poetically psychotic novel into a mock noir stocked with multiple Peter Sellerseses and a brooding James Mason (is there any other kind?). $10. 6:30 p.m. More info here.

Route 60: The Biblical Highway (2023)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Showplace ICON
Some people are just obsessed with the Bible! Also Tuesday. $10. 4 & 7 p.m. More info here.

The Sentinel (1977)
Emagine Willow Creek
A model moves into a brownstone that turns out to be the gateway to Hell. Ope! $6. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Wednesday, September 20

A Clockwork Orange (1971)
Alamo Drafthouse
Not a very pleasant movie! $10. 6:30 p.m. Find more info here.

Uncut Gems (2019)
Grandview 1&2
Still the most anxious a movie has ever made me. I had so much pent up energy afterwards I had to walk around the neighborhood for a half hour to burn it off. $12. 9:15 p.m. More info here.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
The Parkway
“The greatest movie of all time” — George F. Will, Washington Post. $9/$12. Music from the Silverteens at 7 p.m. Movie at 8 p.m. More info here.

Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life (2005)
Trylon
A boy's need to jerk off leads him to ruin. Beware, teens! This could be you! $5. 7 p.m. More info here.

Opening This Week

Follow the links for showtimes.

Camp Hideout
I'm not in the habit of quoting Common Sense Media, but this summation really should help you decide whether or not this movie is for you: "Meatballs meets Home Alone, but far more wholesome and less violent."

Cassandro
Gael García Bernal is "the Liberace of lucha libre."

Coco
Oh did this one make me weep. Back in theaters.

A Haunting in Venice
They keep making these mediocre Poirot movies, and people keep seeing them.

The Inventor
A stop motion film about Leonardo da Vinci.

Mark Antony
A father and son use time travel to fight evil.

Outlaw Johnny Black
Michael Jai White heads up this Black cowboy movie. Yee haw.

The Retirement Plan
Nic Cage is a beach bum whose estranged daughter needs his help. Does he have a mysterious past? He has a mysterious past.

Satanic Hispanics
Great title, I'll give it that.

Scrapper
An independent tween is reunited with her heretofore absent dad. Will they learn that they need each other? Who can say?

Ongoing in Local Theaters

Follow the links for showtimes.

Barbie (read our review here)

Blue Beetle

Bottoms

Elemental

The Equalizer 3

Fremont

Golda

Gran Turismo

Jawan

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (read our review here)

Miss Shetty Mr. Polishetty

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

The Nun II

Oppenheimer (read our review here)

Strays

Talk to Me

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

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